The title card used in "French Toast", depicting Heavy wearing a chef hat and holding a plate of French toast.

"French Toast" is the eighth Moments with Heavy episode, released on Halloween 2011. The video has racked over 2 million views and over 8,000 likes to date.

Brief synopsis: Blue Heavy excitedly agrees to make his own french toast (with a recipe that even viewers can catch up with), but even making a simple breakfast is wilder than expected...


The narrator starts off saying "So I've been told that you like French toast..." Red Scout pipes up and declines that. The narrator then says he thought that it is Moments with Heavy, not Moments with "some lousy degenerate douchebag who ruins the entire show with his negligence." The cut changes, and the narrator says his line again, but this time Blue Heavy appears and crashes into the kitchen. He agrees to the narrator's questions concerning his wanting to make the toast, so he excitedly nods when he is asked if he wants to. The narrator asks if he is ready (to which he nods again), and asks if Heavy is sure. Heavy then bangs his head face-first into the counter. The narrator asks if he is positive, to which Heavy bangs his head harder into the counter, making a big hole.

Heavy is later asked if he has a recipe. He quickly scrawls one down and agrees. The narrator tries to take his recipe to look at it, but Heavy pulls it away from his grasp. The narrator then appears on the other side, but his hand is slapped away. The narrator then tickles Heavy's armpit, causing him to giggle, but then loses his recipe from distraction and is slapped on the head, being blamed for not having a good work attitude. The narrator takes a look at the recipe (step 1: sandvich, step 2: me, step 3: teeth) but says it is wrong, slapping Heavy's head again. Heavy is then asked to take out a small bowl, but he holds a bowling ball in his hand. It gets replaced with the correct kind of bowl, and a mixing spoon appears inside of it. The first ingredient is milk, and Heavy is asked if he has milk, to which his fridge is empty and he rushes to a house. He bangs on the door before a Blue Spy appears at it. He says "What..." before getting punched in the face by Heavy. Heavy then rushes to his fridge, and throws out several things (including a live lobster) before claiming a carton of milk. Heavy is asked to pour "just enough" in the bowl, to which confuses him. He is slapped for the third time, and the narrator pours it for him. He is then asked to pour 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon into the mixture, to which he successfully, as well as surprisingly, does on his own. He then smashes two eggs inside his hands to crack them making the subaluwa noise from Ed Edd and Eddy into the mixture, and he is asked to stir the mixture until liquid. The narrator leaves to the bathroom, to which Heavy looks to make sure no one is watching, to which he dips his finger into the mixture and tastes it, which is crossed off as "salmonella."

The narrator returns and asks Heavy how it turned out, to which he says, "STOOPID!" The narrator says that is impossible, since a mixture of ingredients do not own the proper attributes to the mentally impaired, before calling him a "dumbass." The recipe then moves on to "the good stuff", first requesting Heavy to put his pan on the stove. Scout appears again, saying "pancakes", and he is knocked out by a boot with the narrator aloudly saying "What the shit? Get out of here!". After the narrator asks Heavy to turn on the stove and the narrator tells him to not touch it, when he does he spontaneously combusts and a cross though it says "DEATH". Then the narrator tells Heavy to coat two slices of bread in the mixture, he drops the bread in the mixture when he is supposed to dip it, he goes in for a second attempt and gets it right. The coated bread is put on the frying pan and the narrator reminds Heavy to flip them with a spatula, but he accidentally uses his hands and is crossed off with "SEVERE BURNS", then using the spatula. Moments later Heavy puts the final result on a plate and coats in with spices such as salt and pepper. The narrator explains how he has learned very much and will work in the highest of end restaurants, shorty after Red Scout smashed a lightbulb and the room is pitch black, Scout proceeds to freak Heavy out with a "boo"', then they both laugh and Heavy says "I soiled diaper...", something which moments later the Scout replies to with an "Ugh!"